A Golden Memory

By Anonymous · · 3 views · 1 likes · 0 comments

It feels like life has no meaning anymore
I don't feel the spark of waking up and immediately thinking of her.

Though I still check my texts every morning just incase she changed her mind, it doesn't change the fact that its been months since she was excited to wake up to me.

I keep escaping my feelings, my love for her, by finding new people to share my love with.
I have this infinite flow of love and it all went to her, but now, the waterfall of my love is piped into water bottles and given out hastily to the new people I meet.

And I am able to have some relief when I give away those bottles, but its manufactured. Some of that waterbottle taste stays around long after its been drank and thrown out.

It feels as if the things I should enjoy the most lack purpose without her.
Without her to listen to me nerd out about all the physics things and climbing things I've been doing.
Without her to joke with me while we drive.
Without her to kill me in It Takes Two for the 30th time

I still look for her in everything, just to that hit of a memory, of a thought of how it used to be.
Of how much I still love her.

I mean, yes, I don't have to worry about picking her up or spending time to pick her up flowers, but I would give absolutely anything to be able to even just take the time out of my day for her.

Even at a glance, I still get high off of the feelings we once shared and the feelings I still keep deep inside.

I could try to move on, to find purpose im myself outside of her, but ...
I don't want to.
I would much rather suffer in her memory forever
Than forget her for just one second

Tags: Love, Reflection, Desperation

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