A Golden Stove
My heart burns like food on a great stove
I hate to feel the burn, but It comes when nobody is there to turn the flame down.
And yet... I keep pushing them away.
I keep pushing the people I love the most away from me.
Right as they get close to turning off the gas, I turn it up and it burns them.
I keep writhing in the heat, in the loneliness, but it's the only thing I've ever known.
I keep touching the flame thinking that one day someone will just take my hand away, but no-one is ever there
And, I know that deep in my heart I hate to burn myself day after day, but it's all I can do.
Sometimes I just think that if I keep finding new people and pouring myself into them, eventually one will save me from the flame.
And for a second it was true.
She took my hand away from the flame and turned off the gas.
But for a while, I was away from her and the fire started right back up.
And I guess I wanted to see if she would still take my hand out the fire if it meant that she had to get burned.
And she did.
And for a second the fire started to fizzle.
But the more time I spent away from her, the bigger the fire got.
She got burned more and more, until she looked at the scars she had gotten and realized that it didn't matter how many times she burned herself, because the fire was never going to go out.
So she left, and I was still alone with my fire, bigger than ever, still burning me as I sat inside it.
She's so far away now.
She cant even smell the smoke of my fire as I turn to ash.