Because I Said So

“No” I said, pushing his hand away from my thigh,
“Come on!” He would cry.
“No” I said, as he got on top of me,
It’s funny I wasn’t set free.
“No” I said, as his hands went in between my legs,
That cry was a beg.
“No” I said, as his hand suddenly went into my pants,
But he would only advance.
“No” I said, as I heard his zipper unzip,
Little did I know, he would flip.

He yelled, “I’m going to Australia soon!”
I got hit with the impending sense of doom.
“No” I said in between tears,
He had become one of my biggest fears.

His name was Max, like a dog,
With sickening greed like a hog.
He never listened when I said “No”
I just wanted him to go.
I just wanted him to leave,
So I could finally grieve.
Grieve the life that had changed before my eyes,
With a smile as my disguise.

When he asked why I said “No”
I would reply “Because I said so.”
He said that wasn’t a valid reason,
Winter had become a dreadful season.
A season full of guilt and shame,
When I felt I was the one to blame.
With every “No” came with guilt,
My strength began to wilt.

“No” I said, as I felt him penetrate me,
Why couldn’t he just see?
See how much pain I was in,
How could one commit such a sin?
Why did he think it was okay,
When I barely kept it at bay?

“No” I said, as he pushed me down to my knees,
“No” I would continuously plead.
“No” I said, as his dick was shoved into my mouth,
The will to live went south.

A three month torture,
With little to no nurture.
I would say “No” countless times in his car, my car, and his house,
He never listened, not even on his couch.

But who am I to blame?
He was chasing the flame.
A flame that would utterly destroy me,
So much damage I didn’t want the world to see.

Even though I said “No”
Was a valid reason “Because I said so”?